The feeling creeps up out of the loneliness. You try to fight it, but there comes a point when you acknowledge that it’s just gonna be one of those days, one of those nights, one of those weeks.
The past is always flawless in our memory, the way you idolize someone when they’re far away or yearn for what you can’t have. I’ll always romanticize my own life, but especially when it comes…to certain people. I always know when that nostalgia starts to creep in that I’m going to let everything else come with it. I’ll replay all of it over again and blame myself for the same old things and for new things I remember. And I’ll still stupidly think it was almost worth it.
Going through all the pictures and it feels an awful lot like saying goodbye. To that time, to our friendship, to the feelings I held then, and to how I thought of you. I was arrogant enough to think I knew you in a way no one else did, but now I know I didn’t know who you were at all. And I still don’t. But I want to.
So instead of the goodbye that everyone else has, can we start over instead? And this time, let’s do it the right way. Let’s be honest. Let’s take it slow. Let’s show each other the real us.
Let’s be friends. I don’t want to go back to how it was. But I don’t want to let you go either.
So let’s be friends.
Friends at least.