Every day, so many people wake up and decide not to be happy. I am often one of them. I wish I was strong. I wish I was a good person. I wish I could figure out what to do. But what does wishing do? In real life, nothing. That’s why I gave up on wishing a long time ago and switched to praying.
But when you’re too weak to pray, what do you do? What can you do? In my experience, you lose whatever weak hold you had on life and spin out of control. It doesn’t take much to slip into worldliness. It doesn’t take much more to slip into sadness, nothingness. But Heaven forbid anyone find out you’re not what you used to be. No, you keep going through the motions, trying to cling to belief while having no idea what your mind is doing anymore. It’s like being two different people.
Who knows how long you live like this? But it can’t last forever. It never does. One small, broken, yet honest prayer turns it all around. Because at last you’ve turned to the one person who can give you what you’re looking for: Peace. Hope. Joy. Love. Rest. But more than anything, Him. You’ve been searching and searching, all the while turning away. But He’s been there all along. You were the only one who could walk away from the conversation. He never left.
This isn’t the end. Rather, just the beginning. And things are not going to get better overnight. You have a long road of repentance, healing, and hard work ahead of you. But now you’re back on the path. And maybe you’ll stray from it again, probably often. But if you found it once, you can find it again. And you’re not by any means alone or in the dark. There’s a light shining constantly behind the clouds.There’s a driving wind behind you. A whispering wind.
A gentle, healing wind.